


Different People, Different Things

by hybridempress



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Arguing, Break Up, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-23
Updated: 2016-08-23
Packaged: 2018-08-10 16:10:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7852045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hybridempress/pseuds/hybridempress
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one thing that Francis has always wanted in life is to raise a family with the love of his life. It's just a shame that Gilbert would never try to raise a child again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Different People, Different Things

A brisk autumn breeze floated on the air that evening. Its fingers ran through Francis’ hair, though it was without all the warmth and gentleness that came from his lover doing the same thing. But that was okay, because Gilbert’s fingers were laced with Francis’ own while they walked along the sidewalk that surrounded Rosemary Park. 

The oranges of the sky were beginning to turn pink and white, which would fade into purples and blues, and then into darkness while the stars began to appear. It was getting late, to be sure, but since when had that ever mattered to Francis and Gil? Nighttime could be just adventurous as the daytime if you tried hard enough.

But sometimes a rest was needed, too, and that little bench under the shade of that big red oak tree just a few feet away looked like the perfect place to stop and sit for a moment. Just for a moment. Just to rest their feet.

Their fingers never stopped interlocking, not even for a second, not even when they were sitting down. Francis rested his head on Gilbert’s shoulder, smiling. Gilbert kissed the top of Francis’ hair, humming. Nothing would ever feel more natural than the way they fit together so seamlessly, no matter what. 

Despite how late it was, there were still many people spending time in the park just then. People wrapping up their evening picnics. People who were walking around just like Gilbert and Francis had been doing. Little kids who were playing on the playground in the few minutes before their parents would tell them it was time to go home. The park was just as lively in the evening as it was in the afternoon. 

Two children were tossing a Frisbee back and forth with each other in the field beside the playground. One of them tossed the red disk just a little too far, and it landed at Gilbert and Francis’ feet as they were sitting on the bench. Francis laughed softly as he felt the Frisbee slide into the toes of his shoes. He finally pulled his hand away from Gilbert’s so that he could lean down and pick up the Frisbee, while his other hand lay still on his lap.

The children ran to the bench as quickly as their stocky little legs could carry them. They were out of breath by the time they reached the bench and had to take turns speaking to ask for what they wanted between their gasps for air.

“Can we-”

“Please-”

“Have our-”

“Frisbee-?” 

Francis laughed softly and handed the Frisbee back to the children. One of them took it from him carefully, and they both smiled at Francis and Gilbert. 

“Thank you!”

“Sorry!” 

“It’s no trouble, my little ones,” Francis said, and waved his hand to dismiss them. 

He smiled fondly and watched them run back to the field as he returned his head to Gilbert’s shoulder. “Look at them… Aren’t they adorable?” Francis asked. 

Gilbert smiled faintly and kissed Francis’ temple. “Yeah, they’re adorable,” he said.

Francis whined softly. “I wish we had one of our own. Every time I see someone else with a baby or a little kid I get so jealous. I want to be a father, too,” he said. 

Gilbert seemed to stiffen up when Francis said that, and he didn’t say anything in response. Francis found it odd that Gilbert wasn’t saying anything to him, and began to notice that Gilbert seemed to be caught off-guard, or uncomfortable. He furrowed his brows and looked up at Gilbert.

“Gil, what’s wrong?” he asked. 

Gilbert really didn’t feel like addressing his feelings head on, but knew there wasn’t really a way that he could get out of it. Once Francis had noticed that someone wasn’t acting right, he wouldn’t stop badgering them until they told him what was wrong. And one thing Francis had always stressed about relationships was that there has to be trust, and there has to be communication.

Still, Gilbert needed some time to think about what he was going to say. He’d never been good at just blurting out his feelings as soon as he was asked. He needed something to lead into that. He needed time to prepare. 

“If you love kids so much, why didn’t you become a teacher, or work at a daycare or something? Then you could be with kids every day,” he said.

“That’s different, Gil. I love kids but I don’t want my whole life to center around them. I’m happy with the job that I have now. Besides, having a job like that would mean I’d see hundreds of kids every day for maybe a few hours at a time and none of them would even be mine. I’d never really get to know any of them or watch them grow up or be anything more in their lives than a teacher or a babysitter,” Francis said.

“Well, yeah, but… At least you wouldn’t have to worry about screwing them up or anything,” Gilbert said.

Francis raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, doesn’t that thought scare you, Francis? Being in charge of another human life, someone who is so much younger and smaller and more fragile than you are, whose biggest influence and source of security and care is you? Aren’t you ever worried that you aren’t going to be able to give them everything that they need to grow up to be a good person, or someone who can manage by themselves in the real world? What happens if you fuck up?” 

Francis was taken aback by the questions that Gilbert was asking. In truth, none of these questions had ever crossed his mind. He’d always been confident in himself; in the fact that he knew he would be a good father someday. But maybe there was some good in thinking about the questions that Gilbert seemed to be so scared to find the answer to.

“Nobody’s perfect, Gil. Of course raising a kid is going to take a lot of hard work and of course it might be a little scary sometimes, but if you love your kid and you make sure that you really have the means to support one before trying to have one then there isn’t really much that can go wrong. Besides, I wouldn’t be doing it alone, and you wouldn’t be doing it alone. We’d be working together.” 

Gilbert looked away, and fell silent once again. Francis’ face fell, and he lifted his head off of Gilbert’s shoulder so that he could get a better look at Gilbert. He drew both of his hands into his lap.

“Gil…?”

“I just don’t ever think I could do it, Francis. I don’t _want_ to do it. I had to raise Ludwig practically on my own and look what happened to him. He’s reserved and he has a bad temper and he pushes everyone away because he doesn’t know how to show people he cares. Everyone else thinks he must just be happy being alone but I can read him like an open book and I know that he’s not. I know he’s miserable and I know that’s my fault. I fucked him up, I fucked up when I had to take care of him and now he’s miserable and it’s my fault. I can’t do that to another kid, Francis. I just can’t.” 

Silence fell upon the two of them once again. Francis tried to reach out and rest a hand on Gilbert’s shoulder, or on his thigh, or _somewhere,_ but he couldn’t. His hands were trembling and he just let them fall right back into his lap. 

“Gil, you… You were just a kid when you were raising Ludwig… You’re barely eight years older than he is. You shouldn’t have had to take care of him all by yourself. But you didn’t do a bad job! Ludwig isn’t a bad person. He has a hard time connecting with other people but that’s not because of anything you did or didn’t do. It’s not your fault.”

“How would you know?” Gilbert snapped.

“Because I know _you!_ And I know Ludwig! And I know that all you ever did was love him and that you did everything you could to take care of him!” Francis yelled back.

“Everything that I could do wasn’t enough! We were still poor, I still had a temper, we still couldn’t have everything that we needed and I still couldn’t be everything he needed me to be!”

“You were a _child,_ Gilbert! You were a _child_ and you were raising _another child_ by _yourself_ when you didn’t have the means to be doing it! But your brother still loves you! He doesn’t hold anything against you because he knew that you did everything you could for him! He knows that you love him! And you’re a grown man now and you have a good job and a good house and a good life and you have _me!_ We could raise a kid together and there’s no way we could mess it up…”

Gilbert sighed in frustration and ran a hand through his hair. “Francis, I just can’t do it. I’m sorry. I don’t want kids, ever. That’s the end of it,” he said. 

Francis flinched at Gilbert’s words, feeling as though Gilbert had physically slapped him in the face. This conversation had changed everything that Francis had thought about Gilbert, and about their future together. Suddenly everything was dark, and Gilbert was the one who had turned out the lights. 

“Yeah… That’s the end of it…” Francis whispered, his eyes beginning to water.

Gilbert looked at Francis, hearing the slight tremble in Francis’ voice. He could feel that Francis’ body was shaking. His face paled when he saw that Francis was about to start crying.

“Francis…”

“I wish you would have told me this a long time ago because now I don’t know what to do. I always thought that you and I would get married someday and have a family together but now that future is gone. I can’t hold it against you if you don’t want to have kids because that kind of life isn’t for everyone, but that’s the kind of life I want to have and I can’t give that up, even for you…!”

The tears were starting to pour from Francis’ eyes now. They slipped down his face and dripped onto his hands as he gripped the fabric of his pants on his thighs. Gilbert wanted to try and comfort Francis but he didn’t know what to do. How could he provide any comfort to Francis when he was the reason that Francis was upset? 

“So what… Are you saying…?” he asked. His voice had suddenly become raspy and strained. 

“I love you, Gilbert. I love you so much, and I don’t want to let you go but I just can’t be happy in a relationship like this if I know that you’ll never ever want to have a family with me. But I can’t force you to want that and I would never force you to have a family with me because I know you’d just be miserable and so no matter what we do one of us is going to be miserable and that’s not healthy!” 

“S-so what, you want to break up over this!?” Gilbert asked, sounding almost angry.

Francis nodded, trying to choke back sobs. “I can’t do it, Gil. I can’t stay in this relationship if I know it will never turn into a family. This is where we need to stop.” 

Gilbert’s stomach dropped. He felt like he had just been stabbed in the gut. He couldn’t even say anything to try and make Francis change his mind. 

“F-Francis, I-I-”

“I’m sorry, Gil. I wish we wouldn’t have gotten this far because then it wouldn’t be so hard to say goodbye. But we’re… W-we’re different people, who need different things. And I need someone who wants to raise a family with me, and you need someone who doesn’t need a family to be happy. We just weren’t meant for each other.” 

Gilbert didn’t say anything as Francis stood up from the bench. It was almost dark now, and Gilbert didn’t think it was a good idea for Francis to be walking home by himself, but Gilbert had no idea where he stood with Francis now. They were in love with each other, but they were too different to be together happily. Did that mean it would be too painful for them to interact with each other at all? Gilbert thought so, and unfortunately, so did Francis. 

This wasn’t how tonight was supposed to go at all. Gilbert was going to go home with Francis. He’d stay the night and in the morning he and Francis would make breakfast together in their pajamas, and Gilbert was going to ask Francis to be with him for the rest of their lives right there in the kitchen. The ring seemed to be burning a hole in his coat pocket, and it only became hotter and hotter the further away Francis got. 

_”We’re different people, who need different things. We just weren’t meant for each other.”_

**Author's Note:**

> something angsty i decided to put together after writing a headcanon on tumblr about how never being able to have kids would be an absolute deal breaker for Francis in a serious relationship. This story especially with this pairing is really ironic for me because i have countless AUs where Gilbert ends up accidentally getting trans man Francis pregnant but is happy to have and raise a child with him. I think that "ruining" his child is and always will be a legitimate fear of Gilbert's but in reality I think that, especially if he was with Francis, he would power through that fear and be an amazing dad. But I needed to go in a different direction for this fic
> 
> I contemplated adding more to the ending, telling how Francis moved on and ended up marrying Antonio and adopting twins with him while Gilbert didn't get a happy ending and was always questioning whether or not he should have tried to move past his fear for Francis, but decided against it in the end. But there's that thought for you.
> 
> Hope you guys enjoyed reading and hopefully I'll be able to upload things more regularly from here on out !


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